Earlier this year, I went through a rather nasty break up. I was engaged, and he left me for someone else. Right after the breakup, my intuition was all but off-line.

I couldn’t tune in, and when I could, I wasn’t positive that I got the correct intuitive information. Until that point, I had no idea how much I used my intuition for everyday life. I used it to make decisions whether they were big decisions (should I move?) or little decisions (will the eggs be best for me right now, or should I just drink some juice?). My friend and constant companion — my intuition — was nowhere to be found.

I felt lost and alone.

I spoke with a colleague and friend of mine, Erin Pavlina. She explained that my intuition wasn’t actually gone, but that my emotions were chaotic and powerful because of what I was going through. She explained that with training I would learn how to tap into my intuition even through the upheaval, but for now the intuition was being drowned out by the intense emotions I was experiencing.

What made my intuition harder to hear?

Emotional upheaval is intense

When you are in an intense emotional state, it’s harder to tune into your intuition, because your intuition is naturally still or quiet. It’s the stillness, the peace and the calmness, and when we are upset about something that’s going on in our lives, it makes it very difficult to “hear” your intuition. There’s too much going on.

Right after my ex and I broke up, I wanted to take a trip to visit a friend in San Diego. He’s a good friend that I don’t get to see very often, and he had just gone through a break up as well. It seemed like a great decision, and I figured we could heal together. My intuition was telling me not to go, and since I couldn’t tune in very well at the time, the universe started telling me through other people. Two or three people called me out of the blue and said they had a bad feeling about the trip.

I ignored them and started driving. At the first gas stop, I left my wallet on top of the gas pump and drove away. The wallet had all the money I had in the world in it. My ex and I had shared a bank account, but we had never made it a joint bank account (note: don’t make this mistake, ladies). The money was in his name, so when he left, he left with all the money.

I had a few hundred dollars cash and a credit card, but nothing more, and it was ALL in that wallet. You can imagine my panic as I drove back to the gas station praying that the wallet was turned in. It was not. Someone had stolen it, and I had no money, no ID, and had just been cheated on and broke up with. It was not my favorite day.

Trying to listen to your intuition while grieving is like driving while drunk

We all receive intuitive information through our bodies. We get the information in different ways, depending on our intuitive modalities, but it DOES come through our bodies and it almost always ties to the emotions. If you are experiencing intense emotions, then your emotions are shifting how that information is coming to you.

If you were wearing glasses with red lenses and you were to look at a blue object, would you see the object as blue? No. You’d see it as purple. It’s the same with our emotions. If you are experiencing anger and get information based in love, you’ll likely see the information as some blend of the two emotions.

When I talk to my friends about my feelings, if I’m experiencing especially strong emotions, I usually refer to myself as “drunk” on that emotion. This is fun when it’s love that I’m drunk on, and a little less fun when it’s anger or sadness. For the month I was healing from my breakup, I considered myself “drunk”, because I knew how the emotions were clouding my ability to see things clearly.

I knew that most of my decisions were not grounded and that I might regret them if I didn’t take the time to bounce them off of close, trusted friends. I got talked out of many bad decisions, and I was supported until I could make good, intelligent decisions on my own. Having good friends who know you well is invaluable when you are going through emotional upheaval.

What to do about it

Ok, so you’re in an intense emotional state. Something happened in your life that got you riled up or made you feel derailed. What do you do? How do you get back in touch with your truest self and inner wisdom?

The solution is simple: Breathe.

Breathe in and out slowly. Count your breaths. When you want to get centered within yourself, the best way is to use a follow the breath meditation. It works beautifully because it gets you fully present with your body and the act and rhythm of breathing.

When you are experiencing a mild disruption, ten to fifteen breaths might get you back to yourself. When you are experiencing a major disruption, increase the number up to 100. The number isn’t as important as the feeling of being centered and present with your body.

The more present and clear you are, the more intuitive you are.

What strategies do you use to tune in when you’re feeling out of sorts?

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