Especially when I was first starting out as a professional psychic, many friends expected free readings.
I LOVED that they came to me with their problems and questions, but I was also frustrated because they didn’t seem to understand the time and energy it takes to do a reading well.
Plus, I was trying to start a business and earn income. If I gave away all free readings, I wouldn’t be able to eat (I didn’t have a back up job. I also really enjoy eating. Daily, even.)
In the video below, I share the three step process you can take to solve this problem.
Once you’ve watched it, comment below!
Have you ever been in this situation? How did you handle it? What specific steps did you take?
Until next time!
xoxo,
Erin-Ashley
THANK YOU for this vid 😉
I have faced this same issue and I actually have this come up more from strangers than family and friends. But no matter who’s looking for a freebie I just tell them my rates and ask how’d they like to pay?
Yes, I have the same thing happen from time to time. You are welcome!
xoxo
EA
Back when I was starting out and doing free readings, I did some free readings for friends. Shortly thereafter, I stopped doing readings at all for friends, and in fact I don’t do readings for anyone in the small community where I live. If anyone is interested in the work that I do, I refer them to someone else — and here is why.
First, it’s tricky to read for a friend — both because I have a certain image of that person and because I’m attached to wanting good things to happen for them. If their guides tell me that they really have very little self-confidence when I see them as a confident person, that will change how I relate to them. And it’s harder for me to receive and communicate clear guidance when I have a strong emotional attachment to that person.
Second, this is a very intimate process. Even if nothing in the reading changes how *I* feel about the person, they might feel differently about me or uncomfortable with how much information I’ve received, in the context of our friendship. If I pick up something that is true and that the person is not ready to look at, they might hold it against me.
Third, I don’t enjoy mixing business with personal relationships. If a friendship develops out of a business relationship, that’s one thing, but I don’t enjoy negotiating the dynamics and various boundaries that have to be clear for going the other direction. The tips you’ve given here are very good; it’s just a process that I personally have opted out of.
Great topic!
I love it, Fiona! There are some excellent reasons to not do readings for friends and you brought up a lot of excellent points!
Thank you!
EA
Being patient and consistent are key in any type of boundary you set. Often people wait until they loose their patience to set a boundary, or they give up after it does not stick for the first time. Just because you are ready to set a boundary does not mean that everyone will be up to speed with you the first time you set it (they will need to catch-up)- it’s not that you are bad at setting boundaries.Thank you for sharing this, you inspired me to stick to it and accept that change does not happen over night…we must be patient, firm and have faith/trust
Absolutely! It does take time. 🙂
xoxo
EA
Thank you for this video. I have been having this problem lately. I did send a paypal invoice to a woman who is not really a close friend and expects readings (if I didn’t send an invoice, she would not offer to pay.) I could give many stories about this. I also have the issue of slow or non-payment after the fact. Friends who offer to pay, but say “the check’s in the mail.” Asking for up-front payment is an issue for me, without feeling awkward.
You’re welcome, Kelly! It’s totally awkward at first to ask for upfront payment, but it pays off (literally) in the long run. Most places ask for payment upfront, and it’s not rude at all! A great way to explore this is to delve into why you feel like you shouldn’t ask for it upfront. Does it feel “icky”? Are you afraid they think you don’t trust them? A really wonderful reason TO have them pay upfront is because they will actually get more out of the readings. I’ve found in my own practice that if someone’s already paid for something, they’re much more likely to implement whatever guidance they receive. Sending you love and light!
xoxo
EA
I’m getting better at setting boundaries because I spend a lot of time reading and preparing…. and to give it away, is just like Erin-Ashley said, resentment builds.
Thanks Erin-Ashley for confirming what I have been telling close friends…..not giving it away for free….it cost me.
That’s exactly it. It’s hard to learn to set the boundaries, but you’ll be able to help more people more effectively when they’re set up. It won’t drain your time and energy, which leaves you in a higher vibration and will allow you to offer higher quality work to your clients.
xoxo
EA
One way of looking at this issue is to be delighted that your friends and family are so keen to be consistently working with you and using your services – that shows just how great your work is! It can be tough to set those boundaries, but most people do understand when they see (or you spell it out to them really clearly) that it’s your business and profession. It can take time, but usually they get the message.
What a great reminder, Ferris! We certainly can be grateful for their interest while setting boundaries, can’t we. 🙂
xoxo
EA
Thank you so much for this video, Erin-Ashley. I’ve only recently completed training to build up a practice as a professional intuitive and the issue of reading for friends and family (and boundaries in general) has been coming up for me lately and creating some confusion. I feel like I have more clarity about what I want to do about this now and I’m so grateful to have watched this early on in my career as an intuitive, rather than years down the track!
Hi Jess!
Welcome to the profession! Just remember to be patient as your friends and family learn your new boundaries! 🙂 That’s the part that takes time.
Sending love!
Erin-Ashley
Thank You .
Is quite difficult to set boundaryes for freinds even so, yet at the same time, if you would need a new sweater, they would not give it freelly, even if they own a store . . . Specailly for me, I am a hughe people pleaser.